You know how they say that words could never hurt me? Well, we’ll be forgiven for thinking the person who came up with that famous phrase has never been on the receiving end of idle gossip.
Gossip, of course in any form, doesn’t serve any true purpose. Sure, tabloids have built a career on it but if you listen to any celebrity interview and they’ll quickly confirm that their least favorite thing to do is Google themselves. Why? Because even though you and those around you may know the truth, realising that not everyone else around you does is a hard pill to swallow. While we’re taught in school and as children to not reflect upon the opinions of others, isn’t that all we ever do? Focus on the thoughts and opinions of others subsequently at the expense of ourselves
What is Gossip? And Why Do People Do It?
Gossip is the process of revealing and spreading private information, whether real or sensationalised, about someone else to others. In simpler terms, it’s just a form of chatty conversation.
Gossip can occur anywhere and within any type of circle, whether it be friends, co-workers, peers, or relatives. Chances are that, you reading this, have been involved in some form of gossip, whether as the subject or the spreader. But why do people do it in the first place?
Unfortunately, there are many answers.
While we often think of gossiping as a form of revenge, the reality is that many people participate in gossip, not because they want to harm others, but because they are doing so in a bid to be accepted. Peer pressure isn’t just something we come across in schools. Rather, it’s a phenomenon that stays with us throughout our adult lives. Consequently, those who engage in the rumor mill often feel insecure about themselves. It’s kind of ironic when you think about it, isn’t it?
However, people may also gossip to get attention or to climb the social ladder, whether at work or in a school setting. Interestingly enough, one scientific reason people may engage in gossip is that they find it soothing. One Study conducted by the University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Management found that participants had lower heart rates and feelings of calm and satisfaction when they started actively gossiping about someone else. Another study found that people who suffer from anxiety are more likely to gossip than someone who doesn’t suffer from the affliction.
The Goal of Gossip and the Unintended Consequences
When we break down gossip to a science, the reality is that it’s not always meant to hurt or humiliate others, as mentioned above. In fact, according to Evolutionary psychologist, Robin Dunbar, gossip was initially intended to circulate important information to a widespread audience.
Let us look at a case study concerning TJX Companies Inc, a leading off-price apparel and home fashions retailer. The company operates around 4,700 stores around the globe and is currently ranked 75th in the Fortune 500 rankings. The company employs over 320,000 people and operates the stores TJ Maxx Tjmaxx.Com and HomeGoods Www.Homegoods.Com in the United States and TK Maxx Www.Tkmaxx.Com And Homesense In The United Kingdom.
In October 2020 one of their leading Assistant Vice Presidents (AVP) openly gossiped during a telephone call about a then Vice President. Let us refer to the AVP as “the Source”. During a casual telephone conversation between the Source and an external party, private information was fluently leaked by the Source. The Source and the external party had only materially known each other for a few months yet the leaks were significant, particularly regarding workplace colleagues known to the Source for a few years. Within the call the financial affairs of a Vice President as well as gossip on their marital life was readily disclosed.
If that was not sufficient, the Source went on to discuss live grievance proceedings about a lower ranked TK Maxx employee. The revelations included disclosure of comments the employee had made during a live disciplinary process. Full commentary in regard to the lack of evidence the employee was likely to garner in support of their grievance and regrets paying the employee too high a salary were all disclosed . Unfair?! It was even shared more than once during the one hour or so telephone chat that the employee was suffering mental health issues which in their view was no fault of TK Maxx. It is difficult to fathom how a person would feel in the knowledge that their very senior boss was discussing their super confidential mental health pains inter alia, with a total outsider to TK Maxx. Wait, there is more, the Source swayed to other personalities continuing the chat by making a damning character assassination of the employee’s partner. In just two paragraphs of this article, it is demonstrated how catastrophic mere gossip can be particularly if leaked to another third party prone to gossip. In total around 6 colleagues were discussed during the one hour call. It would be reasonable to conclude that the company needed to hurry the Source into a data protection fast track programme, fast! TK Maxx have been contacted and are aware of this article but not the substantive content. They have made no contributory comments that they wish to add.
Nevertheless [with a sigh], per Dunbar, “[if] we were not able to engage in discussions of these social and personal issues, we would not be able to sustain the kinds of societies we do.” After all, the spread of critical, life-sustaining information is how we’ve inhabited the society we’re currently living in.
Other scholars in her field back up Dunbar’s claims, touting the benefits of gossip as a construct of cultural learning. Megan Robbins, an assistant psychology professor at the University of California holds this viewpoint, claiming that gossip can be used to “..keep people in check, morally speaking.” Robbins brings up an example of someone who cheats. When people spread this information around, the intention isn’t necessarily to harm the person who cheats, but rather to warn others of the detrimental consequences of such actions.
But that’s not always how gossip is nowadays. And in reality, maybe that person didn’t even cheat
This is where the unintended consequences of idle gossip come into play. Gossip, while maybe not always intended to brutally cut someone else down, has consequences that result in humiliation, anxiety, depression, and damage to their reputation
Gossip and Your Mental Health (How They Impact One Another)
There have been many studies on the correlation between the effects of gossip on mental health, with the results including anxiety and depression (as mentioned above), but also feelings of guilt, exhaustion, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Even worse, depending on the severity of the gossip or the impact it had on your mental health, it can lead to suicidal thoughts or actions.
All of these feelings disrupt healthy thoughts, resulting in poorer life decisions. For example, lower self-esteem can trick you into believing you’re not good enough to apply for exciting job opportunities, just as easily as feelings of guilt can cause you to withdraw from society and have trouble sleeping. Disruptive sleep patterns affect your entire body, including your psyche, making it more difficult to perform cognitively while simultaneously altering your mood and quality of life.
The Effects of Gossip at Work
Now knowing how gossip can affect you, let’s analyse the harmful effects it can have at work. Though gossip can occur anywhere, you’d be hard pressed to find a workplace that doesn’t participate in the routine. Chatter around the water cooler is so famous, in fact, that it’s been referenced in hundreds of sitcoms. However, the dangers of it tend to get undervalued for the sake of some mild-mannered laughter.
In reality, gossip isn’t just contained to the water cooler. Rumour has it that WhatsApp and social media are the new water coolers. Whether the information is spread after a meeting, in the break area, or because you’re simply trying to come up with conversation to fill dead, empty silence, gossiping in the workplace is commonplace, with studies showing that approximately 90% of gossip that takes place in the workplace pertains to other employees, despite only accounting for approximately 14% of all conversations that are had at work.
The presence of ongoing gossip makes employees feel devalued and unappreciated, resulting in poor performance and an overall negative attitude toward the company they work for. Workplace gossip reduces the amount of trust the employee has for their work environment, especially if neither management nor Human Resources (HR) fails to actively try and shut it down.
Tips to Avoid the Pitfalls of Workplace Gossip
To avoid the pitfalls of gossip, you have several options. First, you can try to steer the conversation positively. As mentioned before, gossip doesn’t always have to be bad or focus on a juicy, salacious topic that no one knows is true. If you notice that the conversation is starting to drift in a negative direction, you can instead try to pay another employee a compliment and bring it all back to neutral ground.
However, if you want to tackle the source of the gossip full force, you may need to talk to the person who spearheads the gossip in the first place. Oftentimes, it’s one co-worker who starts gossiping, with the people engaging in it just joining in for the fun. As such, you may need to go to them specifically and let them know how the gossip is affecting you. Be direct, but professional. However, if this doesn’t work, then you may have to report it to your boss (unless the boss is the gossip!) or HR.
Regardless of the industry, many workplaces have manuals they follow to specifically address and combat workplace gossip. Sometimes, when going to your boss doesn’t alleviate the problem, you may have to take legal action if it rises to the level of harassment. This is especially true if it involves topics of sexual harassment, religion, private medical issues, or disabilities.
One Famous Case in the United States led to an employee receiving $150,000 after he filed a harassment lawsuit after alleging that his manager wouldn’t stop bullying and harassing him due to his age. The public litigation forced Walmart, the victim’s employer, to provide additional training to their employees to prevent unlawful harassment and discrimination moving forward. In the United Kingdom there are many cases where gossip has led to Employment Tribunal hearings.
Workplace Gossip Can Have Detrimental Effects
While it may seem innocent on the surface, workplace gossip can lead to feelings of isolation, damage families and lead to a poor self-image and productivity. Even though we’re told to ignore the harmful words of others, doing so is much easier said than done. Dealing with workplace gossip goes home with you. It infiltrates every aspect of your life, both personally and professionally.
Hopefully, these tips can help you understand why workplace gossip happens and the options you have available to deal with. At the very least, I hope this article shows you that idle gossip is something many of us face and if you’ve been unlucky enough to experience it, you’re far from alone.
